Quote of the month

"I'm probably gonna curse a lot, it's just an Irish thing. It's not meant in any malicious way, it's just part of the way we speak. For hundreds of years our language was beaten out of us by the English and then we had to learn their language. Which was ok, but we decided at a very early stage to pervert their language as much as possible. If we had to speak it at all. So in Ireland cursing is just descriptive it's not actually in anyway malicious." - Glen Hansard

The Swell Season Live

Most amazing live show.

Strict Joy.

This made me happy.

"This song is about being in Ireland lying in the middle of a field drunk looking up at the stars. Well, actually looking at some grey clouds and knowing that the stars are beyond them. And having a conversation over the shoulders of the clouds, at the stars"

- Glen Hansard (The Swell Season/ The Frames)

Star Star

Star star teach me how to shine shine

Teach me so I know what's going on in your mind

'Cause I don't understand these people

Who say the hill's to steep

Well they talk and talk forever

But they just never climb

Falling down into situations

Bringing out the best in you

You're flat on your back again

And star you're ever word I'm heeding

Can you help me to see

I'm lost in the dark

Star star teach me how to shine shine

Teach me so I know what's going on in your mind

'Cause I don't understand these people

Who say we're all asleep

They'll toss and turn forever

But no rest will they find...

Listen to the song here...

http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/song/Star_Star_Live_/23364951

If you don't own 'Strict Joy' by the Swell Season... you should. 

Frustration

I can't remember a time when I have ever been this discontent.

My job is great.
My family is good.
My new apartment is wonderful.
My friends are the best ones Charlotte has ever given me.
My part time job serving with a catering company at weddings is loads of fun.
My music is coming along better than ever before.
My relationship with God is growing in new ways.

I have no justifiable reason to be unsatisfied.

But I am.

My heart is discontent.

I need change. Serious change. I need to see the things I have been promised come to life.

I am tired of waiting.

I take my complaints to God, I remind Him of His promises.

He says, "Wait".

I find my frustrations holding hands with the truth that God will fulfil His promises.

I keep in the forefront of my mind that He wants the these promises to unfold even more than I do.

Still, I am frustrated. And guess what? God told me it's ok to be frustrated. He would rather me be discontent and ready while in the waiting room then comfortable and passive.

You're not what I need - I'm not what you need, so it works out well.

I like to check up on you from time to time.
Not because I miss "us", but occasionally I miss "you".

I want to know how you are doing.

However, I don't want you to know that I care.

Sounds harsh, I know, but sometimes I don't feel that you are worthy of my care.

So I'll continue to peek around corners, wearing my stalker mask, just so my heart can be sure that you are happy.

"I still miss you sometimes, when the weather's getting colder" - Joe Purdy

Waiting on the Vision

God showed me this verse while I was complaining about not being in Scotland right now. I do this often. I don't remember seeing this verse before. Or perhaps I was never in a desperate enough need before now to really see and accept it.


"What's God going to say to my questions? I'm braced for the worst. I'll climb to the lookout tower and scan the horizon. I'll wait to see what God says, how he'll answer my complaint. Full of Self, but Soul-Empty and then God answered: "Write this. Write what you see. Write it out in big block letters so that it can be read on the run. This vision-message is a witness pointing to what's coming. It aches for the coming - it can hardly wait! And it doesn't lie. If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time."
Habakkuk 2:1 - 3 - The Message version


"These things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled."

I want what I don't want and don't know what it is that I do want.

Am I the only person who, while filling out a personality test, begins to wonder if they may be bipolar? There seem to be two extremes inside me, of course I have complete control over which is shown in which situation. But really, are people supposed to be this split up inside?

So keeping true to who I am, I made a list. A list of what I want. It confused me even more.

Behold the conflicting list;

I want the sound of rain.

I want a hand to hold.

I want trees and a bed made of grass.

I want quiet.

I want folk music.

I want a gentle reassuring breeze.

I want the fragrance of jasmine.

I want to fly.

I want to take the road less travelled.

I want solitude.

I want mystery.

I want brown hair.

I want a brown dress.

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I want tattoo's.

I want piercing's.

I want rock and roll music.

I want red hair.

I want a black dress.

I want to smoke and drink.

I want friends and parties.

I want the house and car.

I want the job and degree.

I want to be looked up to.

I want power and fame.

I want authority.

I want to be the boss.

-------------------------------------------

Ultimately, I know who I am, where I am going and what I want. It's just the little things at times seem to conflict.

I am responsible and gentle.


I am wild and carefree.