"Now is the season for you and me"

For years I have been singing that phrase. "Now is the season for you and me". Only now does it actually feel true, current, real. Not that it hasn't always been about me and Him, but now its different. It is only, about me and Him. In the past it has been me and Him, doing something.

We have always been working towards a goal, serving people, ministering, going to class. He always clearly communicates with about what is next, where we are going, what the future will look like so that I have something to focus on.
But now, its nothing. My very life is about me and Him. He is the only thing I have going on my life. I have friends, yes but I don't and could never live for my relationships. My friends are great, but they will never bring me the kind of life I crave. The kind of life I have with Him. I have just never been in a situation where He was all. My relationship with him began when I was a teenager. So all through high-school my focus was him, high-school and working towards figuring out what to do after high-school. I graduated and knew what my plans were, Scotland, missions, YWAM. I worked for a year saving money with a goal of leaving the country. So, I had Him, work and my goal. After YWAM, I had ministry school so for two years it was Him, work and school. Now, I have graduated ministry school and for the past 8 months it has just been me and Him. I haven't known what to do with myself, much less my time. I just worked. Out of frustration I began separating myself from Him, my one and only point of life. I delved into all kinds of things that before, would have been the last point of interest to me.

It is only now that I am beginning to see that this time, this season isn't punishment for having done something wrong or because I 'missed the boat', it is a gift.

Finally, it is the season for Him and I alone. I don't have to worry, think about or plan for my calling, my future, ect. I can just enjoying being with Him until He opens to doors for my next season. In fact, I do believe this is how is was always meant to be. I couldn't see it until He stripped everything but Himself from my daily life. I first I felt lost without having a goal, a task, a point to waking up everyday. Now, I am seeing that He is the only reason for everyday. All the other stuff, my calling, Scotland, missions, friends ect. are all 2nd.
It's a simple thing I know, I should have learned this a long time ago. But I am hardheaded. It took God removing all things that I could control (or try to control) out of the picture, in order for me to see the real picture.

My life does not exist for my calling. My life does not exist for my passions. My life does not exist so that I can 'do' things. My life exist so that I can be with Him. My life exist for love.

So now, for the first time in my life "Now is the season for You and me."

"Throw your head back girl and laugh one more time. Now is the reason for me and you."

... Song, 'In love at 19' by Mark Mathis ( www.myspace.com/markmathis )