"We all try hard to live our lives in harmony for fear of falling swiftly overboard but life is both a major and minor key just open up the chord."

I will relentlessly pound on these brick walls until my blood runs clear enough for you to see the passion in my plea.

What is this wall that stands between us? I'm sure I was the one to errect it. How now do I remove it?

"No use in saying how I'm sorry, so I'm trying not to speak. I'll sing in silence, lay beside you with my face there on your cheek."

I'm sorry I don't have the right words.

I'm sorry I don't have an eloquent tongue.

I wish I could be the person to pull you through.

The one that you look back on this season and think about as being the exact thing you needed.

Instead, I'll just be silent and hope that you can feel me here.

grandfathers garden, mud caked hands, bluegrass, sun and cold beer = the best spring day

There is nothing quite as enjoyable as working in a garden.
Even if you pour sweat as the sun beats down burning your face and arms.
It is still incredibly fulfilling.

"Honey I'm a price, you're a catch and we're a perfect match."

Its rather annoying...

...being twenty-three years old,
knowing who the perfect guy for you is,
and knowing that he has no clue.

Guess I'll wait here...
hoping,
dreaming,
trusting... that some day he'll open his eyes.

Once perfection blurs your vision,

its hard to imagine anyone else,
even if they are within reach.

I'm not saying he is perfect,
i'm not that naive,

but he is perfect for me... expect for the fact that he doesn’t see it.

Since better can't be, as friends we'll agree" - Sabra Girl, Nickel Creek

"Oh, he says, he can't love me, but I think he can and I told him that, just before he ran." Anthony, Nickel Creek

24, September -- it's everywhere.

This is a hard day, for many reasons and for no reason at all because nothing really 'happened'.

Yet, it also feels like everything happen.

Reasons:

Dreams, both in process and incomplete.

Changes, both the lack of and the thought of.

Summer - for the first time in my life I am enjoying a hot as hell southern spring/summer .. I find I like the sun, walking in it, biking in it, running in it.

Scotland (Alba), my heart aches for home.

Promises, unfulfilled.

9-24 --- 24, September, it haunts me. It means everything and nothing.

Your voice in my head.

The lack of timing with which You choose to direct my path.

The voice that screams, be responsible.

The voice that screams RUN FREE!

All the while I wonder... is it possible to have both?

"Where am I today? I wish that I knew

'Cause looking around there's no sign of you
I don't remember one jump or one leap
Just quiet steps away from your lead" - Reasons why, Nickel Creek

22, April ----- work.

I can't stay put. I have to make a run for the door. The cage is closing in all around me and I must get out while I can. This mundane ritual has become simply pointless, something done because someone, somewhere said it was a requirement to survival.

The sun is calling to me. The blue sky is beckoning. These four walls hold no entertainment, no enjoyment, nothing to entice the imagination.

Thoughts of books, bike riding, long walks, ice cream, cigarettes, naps in the sun, guitar playing, song writing, singing and enjoying a beer on the balcony are crowding my mind leaving no room for this repetitive cycle.

"Then this bird just flew away, she was never meant to stay. To keep her caged would just delay the spring." - Travis, the cage.

"This is easy as lovers go, so don't complicate it by hesitating."

I've been on a serious Dashboard confessional kick lately. (Don't judge me.) I can't seem to get away from the whiny emotional dramatic pull that their lyrics have. It sucks me in and feeds something inside my soul. I think I envy the freedom of being able to express the feelings about relationships that swarm inside me. The ability to craft lyrics that capture what everyone feels, but no one says. Everyone has frustrations and annoyances about relationships (or lack there of) with the opposite sex. It is a part of being human. But we never step up and say what is going on inside.

We hesitate. We wait. In some cases.. these can be good things. But in most cases, speaking your mind in genuine honesty is priceless. Instead, we glance crookedly at each other from across the room hoping the object of our thoughts will see while also dreading that they will see. Does this not feel a little jr. high-ish? Sometimes I think it would be so much easier just to go back to passing notes that say "I like you, do you like me?" Check yes or no. If the feeling is not mutual, no big deal, lets just not waste time hanging out in the unknown. Lets be straight forward about what we are thinking and feeling.

"I'll be true, I'll be useful
I'll be cavalier, I'll be yours, my dear
And I'll belong to you
If you'll just let me through
This is easy, as lovers go
So don't complicate it by hesitating
And this is wonderful, as loving goes
This is tailor-made, what's the sense in waiting" - As Lovers go Dashboard Confessional.