Uncertain vs Certain

I gave up what was certain in order to embrace what is uncertain. As of now, the uncertain is still uncertain. I hope that what is uncertain becomes certain and I am able to walk through the door. I'm tired of standing back staring, wondering, waiting. I want to begin walking, no, running through an open door. However, I do have enough patience and desire to wait for the correct door before I take off running. Even though, at times it takes all my strength not to move forward in one rash movement forcing things into place.
I know that my thoughts and my vision of the future is not exactly what the Lord has. We see in part and know in part. So it would be foolish to put hope in anything other than God Himself. Hoping in an idea, or situation, or even part of the picture will just lead to disappointment and discouragement. Hoping in my Beloved, on the other hand can and will only lead to strengthening our relationship.

I'm taking you to live in the Bay of Plenty.

Flying is a choice. Climbing onto the back of the Lion is a choice. It is embracing the unknown. The Lion is an untamed animal. It is a risk to draw near Him. You cannot know His every move or motive. You just have to believe in what you know to be true about Him. That He is good, and just. That He is love. He is always love even when it doesn't look like what we imagined it would.
I drew near Him this morning, he whispered to me, "Climb on my back, I am taking you to live in the Bay of Plenty". I climbed on, but we didn't move. Confused, I asked, "When are we going?". He responded, "We are here. You are here and have always been here. The Bay of Plenty is in me. The Bay of Plenty comes when you realize that I love you so much I have made a bed for you in my heart. You have always lived in my heart, as my beloved in whom I am well pleased. When you begin to realize that, things will open up for you. I have much in store for you, but you must seek those things in my heart. Everything you need, will need and have ever needed is in my heart for you. I am just waiting for you to realize that and reach in and take it."
So, it a choice to believe that we live in His heart, to believe that we are His beloved. Also to believe (and this is the hard one for me) that He has everything we will ever need and even things we want, already waiting on us. He has the Bay of Plenty in His heart prepared for us, it is there waiting for us to believe, reach in and grab on to. Lets not shy away from what He wants to give us, but boldly reach out and take what is ours.

cleaning up the mess

They say the best way to cure writers block is to just start writing. I guess I will take their advice and see what comes about. I haven't written any more than a few short journal entries since I graduated ministry school at the end of June. I'm not sure why, or even sure if one event was the cause of the other. Perhaps I was just worn so thin through out the two years of school that once I was free I crashed. Maybe I have needed the break. I'm not sure. Once upon a time writing was invigorating, however during school it become more mandatory. Now that school is well over with and I have had a few months to recover, maybe I will start writing again for pleasure. I miss the joy that came hand in hand with the accomplishment of a moving poem or comical short story.
I don't know what will become of my former love for writing. My desire is that we be reunited, bells will ring and joy will once again flow from my pen. Or at least that I will enjoying taking up my pen.

So.. until then.

Jas

Update

Sitting at my desk day dreaming of running barefoot through fields of wildflowers while Cat Stevens plays melodically in the background.